The Nerd Asks: When Did Videogame Characters Have To Be Practical?

Yes she's in heels...so what?

Earlier this year there was a rather huge uproar over Samus wearing heels in the new Super Smash Bros, then it was a talk about "boob armor" and all these things and it got me thinking...why are we forcing real world practicality to videogame characters? I for the life of me cannot fathom why there is such emphasis on what the characters wear or how they do x while having y or z? Aren't video games a form of escapism? I understand that some games go for a bit more realism but it's still a game at the end of the day. Let's take Samus for example ( since I already mentioned her and I like her ok? She has a pew pew gun), people are losing it over the fact that she has high heels on. Why? Because how can she kick ass while in such high heels? By kicking ass while in high heels..because she is a 6'3 198lb Chozo infused lady with a power suit that weights about 200lbs..I think she can handle herself wearing jet pack heels. Another common complaint I hear is the whole boob armor thing. There are people who are furious that women are wearing armor that wouldn't really protect them in battle but again I have to ask why that's an issue. Take any fantasy game, for this purpose we will use Skyrim, and you'll inevitably see a character wearing a modest amount of clothing. Now, in this game you have magic and some of the magic is of the healing variety. In real life if a woman was wearing something like this

she would get totally murdered in battle; she's over exposed and offers very little protection from weapons or even the elements, but in real life if she were to get impaled by an arrow (not in the damn knee) she would probably die on the spot or bleed out whereas in the game she can either heal, eat food to gain health or just regen her health. If you exist in a world where you can walk around in loin cloths in below freezing environments with no ill affect, why would you care about what you wear? Sure you can take more hits in heavy armor but the fact that you do not instantly die from a sword lodged in your spine kind of makes armor itself sorta useless no? Speaking of heavy armor, let's talk about the male characters for a bit because they aren't any more practical. In the Final Fantasy series there are a host of male characters that are less than practical. One standout is Cloud Strife; he wields a sword that is bigger than himself and doesn't even have full armor, just like a bangle and one shoulder armor pad thing. How is that practical? Even if we say he has super strength, he isn't invincible so why isn't he clad in full body armor instead of a leather outfit? Don't think the leather can stop a bullet, or provide protection from swords or any other weapon. I could also talk about the impracticality of having a gunblade like the hero of Final Fantasy 8, Squall Leonhart.or how Dante from the DMC series only wears a long red trenchcoat for protection, how Mario wears no armor at all even though he goes up against a 9ft 2000lb fire breathing dragon turtle thing....are you starting to see a pattern here? 

Videogame characters should not be held to the same real world values when it comes to practicality because that defeats the escapism aspect of it. Samus can wear heels because she's a bad ass space amazon,  Mario can wear overalls for protection against fire because he's in a land called the Mushroom Kingdom where people with mushrooms on their heads exist, Tifa can wear a skirt and suspenders in battle because she can freaking suplex the Emerald Weapon with ease. With all the issues within the game industry, practicality should not be a focus...I mean come on it's Smash Bros, I can have Donkey Kong punch Mario in the face...why would I care about the fact that DK not having anything on to protect him from fireballs? Lemme just gorilla punch people off of Final Destination. 

So there's my two cents on the whole matter, feel free to chime in even if you're gonna yell at me or whatever.