Superhero Throwdown: Batman vs Superman

It seems like no matter what, people believe that Batman can beat anybody...including Superman. Now normally I would list the strengths of each character and how that would play into a battle but this is different, this isn't a battle...it's a massacre. That's right, Superman completely dominates this fight in all ways possible, in fact I'm gonna break my "no prep rule" for this instance just to show you how much that doesn't matter. Ready? Well let's freaking do this then.

Here is why Batman loses without prep time:

In a fight you need to be able to sustain hits, this is a must. Boxers, MMA fighters and other martial artists all train their bodies to be able to handle the blows of their enemies and Batman is no different. Bats may be in peak human physical condition but that's the problem; he's human where his opponent is not. Superman is one of the most durable characters in the DC universe, able to take hits from the likes of Darkseid and still keep ticking whereas Batman ( even in his fanciest of armors) would be nothing more than red paste on the fists of the ruler of Apokolips. Honestly Batman would break his hand if he tried to punch Superman, in fact I think that has been mentioned in comics before, anyways in terms of durability Superman is the clear winner, there is no debate here. If Superman were to even allow Batman to even tough him it would be like punching a 3 year old punching a tank, it wouldn't even make Superman wince. " But TBN, don't forget that Batman always carries a sliver of Kryptonite (or Green K like all the cool cats call it) so that combined with Batman's fighting ability should be more than enough beat Superman" ah you must mean all those instances where we saw Batman send Clark flying with a punch correct? Something like this right?

Yes Batman is punching Superman square in the jaw but notice how the Kryptonite has to be in his proximity in order to weaken Superman? More often that not Superman is in a state where he is not thinking clearly so it allows Batman the opportunity to strike at him; but in an actual battle Superman's senses would be sharpened as he is focused on his enemy and as such a slow ass human ( compare to Superman) is not gonna touch him in real battle. I know in tv, comics and movies Superman gets tagged by people like Lex Luthor but that is for the purpose of entertainment, there is no way in actuality some human is hitting a being who can react to things moving at FTL (fast than light) speeds. If Batman tried to hit Superman, and Superman wasn't trying to get hit, well something like this would happen

Not even a little bit close

Oh but we can't forget about the Kryptonite, that might dull his movements just enough for Batman to get his licks in, if only Superman had...idk....some sort of abilities he could use are long range that were effective...but I am having trouble remembering what he could do. It has something to do with a sort of vision where he can shoot beams out of his eyes that are lasers but I for the life of me can't remember what it's called. I think he also has the power to freeze things with his breath or something like that...maybe I'm confusing that with Thor? In all seriousness though all

Superman would have to do is shoot Batman with his heat vision from a safe distance or freeze him before he can even use the Kryptonite. Hell even if Superman let Batman hit him with Kryptonite he would still have enough strength the crush his skull before the effects of the Krytponite would overcome him....because he doesn't instantly become an invalid in the presence of it.

Speaking of strength, Superman is strong....like really strong...really really really strong ( like he's way stronger than a human could ever be) and that is an overwhelming advantage to have. Let alone that Batman couldn't harm him unless Superman let him stab him with a Kryptonite knife, all it would take is one punch from a Superman out to kill and it is lights out for the Caped Crusader. I mean...do I even have to go into this? He's freaking Superman, you guys know how strong he is...but if you for some reason don't know then I really don't know why you're even reading this, everyone knows that the Man of Steel is strong as heck so it's obvious Superman wins in this department.

In a straight up no prep brawl Superman has the absolute advantage, in fact he would probably spend more time deciding on how to kill ( don't give me that morality crap either this is a death match) Bruce than on the actual fight. There's just no getting around the fact that Batman cannot hurt or touch Superman, Superman doesn't even need to be in the same city as Batman in order to kill him so being up close would just be overkill.

 

Superman killing humans because it's easy for him 

Why Batman loses with prep time

"Batman can beat anyone if he has prep time" is a sentence I have heard entirely too many times in these battles so lets give him his precious prep time shall we? This was actually done in "The Dark Knight Returns" in a battle between Old Batman and a weakened Superman ( I say weakened because a nuke blocked out the Sun so Superman can't absorb it's rays) and well...here's how that went

Now, now before you get all hyped, let's really think about what happened here: Batman spent decades coming up with a situation in which he could take out Superman. Superman is not out to kill or even hurt Bruce and he is obviously holding back a lot where Bruce his not, he is in a full battle suit, he is employing dirty tactics and even spent a fortune creating that powderized version of Kryptonite...and Superman is still able to move...hell he catches Bruce before he falls down, all that planning and all he could do was temporarily gain an advantage on a weakened, not out of blood Superman. I honestly hate the "prep time" argument because people assume that only Bruce would use that time to prepare and his enemy wouldn't..well I don't play those rules so if Batman knows Superman is coming for him then Superman knows that Batman is gunning for him to and if that's the case Superman knows exactly what suit to bring to the party.

Pretty sure he can handle a sliver of Kryptonite

Superman can negate pretty much all of Batman's strategies thanks to him being..ya know..Superman. No amount of prep time is going to combat all of his abilities. Let's say Batman invents a device that emits rays similar to that of a red sun, Superman is screwed right? Wrong, Superman could move before Batman even touches his utility belt. But wait he's Batman so whatever location they fight in Batman would have it laced with red sun generators and Kryptonite so Superman would have nowhere to run; that would be a pretty good strategy if Superman couldn't fly ( and if he has is K suit on then really only the red sun waves matter) into the sky or into space and have a little sun dip. This is where it all goes to hell, Superman's parameters are already unknown and if he gets to take a lil bath in the sun then those parameters are pushed well beyond their original unknown limit; basically he would become a God and unless Batman spent his prep time sending a nuke to block out the sun this fight ends in attoseconds. There is just no way Batman wins, Superman could kill him in a variety of ways; heat vision lobotomy, turn him into a Batsicle, punch a hole through him, throw him into space, hit him going mach 10, throw meteors at him from space, go full Irreedemable on his ass and sink the goddamn continent, destroy Earth if he's feeling extra homicidal, fly around him so fast he creates a hurricane and deprives him of oxygen, shatter his bones, I mean the list just goes on and on here. Prep time is a two way street and are you really gonna give a creature who is smarter than you ( Superman has superhuman intelligence and is superior to Batman in every way that counts) time to prepare? The only way this fight is interesting is if Superman gives Batman the same formula he gave Lois in "All Star Superman" and I don't see that happening in a freaking death match. 

It's not all bad though, Batman is my 2nd favorite character and he could beat a lot of enemies but you have to be the biggest Batman fan every to think that he could actually beat Superman. It doesn't matter how lame you find Superman to be, it doesn't make him not Superman. I don't even like Superman that much ( Spider-Man for life) but even I have to admit that he would beat my favorite character to a bloody pulp inside of .000000000001 seconds. Think of it this way, if you think Batman can beat Superman than you're pretty much saying that Batman can beat Wonder Woman, Big Barda, Martian Manhunter, Darkseid, Orion, Kalibak, Mongul, and any other Superman level characters..do you see how ridiculous that sounds? Batman is awesome and cool and great and all the superlatives in the world, but in fight between him and the guy who could literally punch him so hard that the world exploded, well I think we all know who wins that fight

Now I'm sure I will have pissed off a ton of Batman fans so I will ask this of you, how would Batman be able to kill Superman in a way that doesn't rely on plot device or character induced stupidity ( no "Superman doesn't kill" because Batman doesn't either and no "tricking Superman into going to a planet with a red sun or anything like that). This should be fun.